Top Ten Trends I Really Don’t “Get”.

1. Dungarees.

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Just wtf ladies? I mean, sure the magazines convinced you that they looked good in the 90s but then we all grew up and realised it had been a bad move. Why haven’t we learned from our mistakes?
The only people who can rock dungarees are the Minions in Despicable Me or Macaulay Culkin circa Home Alone time.
On 99% of people you get that weird bit of stretched denim between the thigh and bottom, and it just doesn’t look awesome.
Send them back and get yourselves a nice pair of levis instead.

2. Shiny Pants.

Disco Pants
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They’re calling them “Disco pants” now aren’t they? I tried some of these on at our SS13 event at work and they just look and feel insane. I felt like I was inside one of those Chinese Finger Traps.
Right now people are wearing RED ONES. Specifically red ones cause me grief, because it makes the wearer look like they are trying to pull off slutty santa.
No, please.
They look good on Russel Brand only, and they even look silly on him.

3. Really Really Slick Hair.

wet hair
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Perhaps its just me, maybe I’m old fashioned. I’ve never been a fan of going out looking like I’d literally just got out of the shower. Some people really love the slick wet-look hair thing. I often mistake it for grease and assume the wearer is lacking in personal hygiene or motivation.
No offense. I’m sure you think you look awesome.
The only time I can accept this hair is when you’re coming out of the gym/on the school run/severely ill.

4. Lip Tattoos.
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Why would you want your lips to look like snakes?
S’all I’m sayin.

5. Talons.

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They didn’t look good on Carmella Soprano, and they won’t look good on you. They don’t even really look good on Rihanna and she is awesome.
I imagine their main purpose is to facilitate the picking of noses or pressing that hard-to-reach “reset” button on your Tamagotchi because they sure ain’t purposed to look awesome.
Just to clear this up, I don’t have no beef with long nails, false nails or whatever. Just those weird, witchy, pointy ones.

6. Jelly Heels.
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I loved these when I was little – and normally I’m 100% supportive of bringing back a trend I wore as a kid. I embraced the whole Smock thing. I was gleeful when Leggings came back – and I’m crossing my fingers for the old pants/skirt thing. Jelly shoes were a staple of my childhood summer wardrobe, but for some reason, I want them to stay there.

7. Those really cheap looking maxi dresses with cray-cray patterns on them.


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I don’t know why, they just scream “Bought for £5 from the market!” at me – which is fine – but I bet the quality is shocking. You’re wearing the thing on almost ALL of your body. Treat yourself.

8. Crop Tops.

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I actually have no beef against crop tops in general, just for me. I’m not the correct shape to support a crop top, just like a large proportion of people I see wearing them. This is no commentary against how people dress – I admire anyone brave enough to wear something I wouldn’t dare to. I’ve just always been taught to leave a bit to the imagination, yanno?

9. Cutout Stuff.
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Whoever thought “I know, we’ll put a window in this dress so everyone can see a small portion of your belly/back/thigh!”?
It just seems really ridiculous.
I’m the sort of person who usually wears a vest under a semi-transparent top, so maybe I’m just the wrong audience. Nevertheless, it baffles me.
If you have a great body, then it’s probably easier to accept than it is for me – for me its just a horiffic possibility that I’ll be showing everyone ‘my shopping’ , so to speak.

10. Overly masculine shoes.

monster shoes

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Didn’t Marilyn Monroe say something about heels and women? Aren’t they meant to make women feel more feminine and floaty and lovely and girly and flowery and whatever?

Why, then, would you adorn them in massive spikes and flames and bullets and hammers and whatnot?
Don’t get me wrong, I think some of them look awesome, like the proper bondage Dita Von Teese style ones for doing burlesque in are amazing. I love them. Give me some to use as ornaments, cause I can’t flipping walk in them and I don’t have a 10ft cocktail glass to lounge about in.
But then you get ones like in the picture. I just don’t get it.
Those ones above look like Reptar.

Are there any trends you just don’t “Get”?



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